I read this book for the first time last December…Hubby was a few months in to sobriety…I was still waiting for him to be a “better” (do things my way) husband.
I just finished reading it for the second time. Finished, as in, I need to keep reading it over and over until it sticks 😉
The first time I read it, I bawled. Over and over. Page by Kindle page…It’s one of those books you want a “real” book for, so you can see the tear stains and expect them when you go to read it again. Since I have the Kindle version, I had no such warning this time.
So, sitting poolside at my hotel while I travel for work, the tears came again…over and over…thankfully the pool was deserted (apparently everyone was afraid of the dark clouds and rain drops or something!)…
This isn’t a book review, really…although that will come later (just read the book, seriously)…along with a give away of this book and Sara Horn’s new book (My So-Called Life as a Submissive Wife)—check back in a few weeks for reviews and giveaways on my Facebook page (facebook.com/lifewithgreeneyes).
I started reading this book with reservations…it had kept coming up on my Kindle as suggested reading…and I had kept ignoring it. Then, a lady at church wrote something about it on FB and I had some amazon gift cards, so I ordered it. It was so not what I expected.
I have these silly ideas in my head that no one else understands the struggles I face. That no one has been where I have been or is where I am. I see women all around me whose lives look so perfect, that look exactly how I think my life should (but doesn’t) look like. And I feel alone and really start to beat myself up.
So when I got in to this book and read the struggles that Sara faces…from role reversal to primary income to feeling inadequate…I just wanted to find her, hug her and say, “Me too!!!”…Me. Too.
My life…my marriage…my faith…my mothering…my homemaking…It’s not perfect. It’s not “Father Knows Best”…or “Happy Days”…or even like the women at church I admire and spend (too much) time wishing I had their life…their marriage…their faith…their patience…their whatever.
I spent too much time worrying about how I thought life should look like and not enough time being thankful for what I had. I had so many pre-conceived notions about a man’s role and a woman’s role that I refused to look at the blessings that came from the roles the hubby and I have taken on.
I wanted to be the stay-at-home-mom…that was my purpose…my dream…I didn’t care that my job gave us so many blessings and opportunities…or that I had met some of my dearest friends and strongest encouragers there. It wasn’t what I wanted. So I whined. And complained. And wanted my husband to take on his rightful place…To be the head of the family, both in finances and everything else. I said, it’s my turn to not have to be responsible for everything! I don’t want this burden anymore!
So reading this book gave me hope…encouragement…and not a bar to judge myself against…but a promise…that every marriage is different.
I have stopped complaining about our roles (well, most of the time, I’m a work in progress!)…I have accepted that the life we have is right…for us…for now. I try to find joy in the perks of my job…amazing friends, traveling, hotels with empty pools…And thankfulness for a husband who works hard and then comes home and takes care of the kids and the house while I sit in a hotel room and take long baths and read without interruption.
And I read the Proverbs 31 Wife…and reflect…and more than anything I’m thankful for the honesty of Sara in her books, her blog, her writing…I find a reassuring camaraderie there…a feeling of someone else knowing my same struggles and there is such relief in knowing I’m not alone…
As I sit here in the silent peacefulness of my hotel room…knowing my girls are safe with their daddy at home…in a hectic, noisy house…and we wouldn’t trade that for anything…
Check out http://www.sarahorn.com/my-books/ for Sara’s books. Her newest book, My So-Called Life as a Submissive Wife is available there for pre-order, release date is August 1st.
Don’t forget to check back in a few weeks for some fun giveaways on my FB page, facebook.com/lifewithgreeneyes. “Like” my page for blog updates and giveaway details, coming soon!