As many of you know, I have been so blessed to be a part of Sara Horn’s My Wife Life Street Team, promoting her new book, My So-Called Life As A Submissive Wife.
A big bonus to this is I was privileged to be able to do a Q&A with Sara herself—AND—Sara is giving away a copy of her book to one of YOU!
I have been blessed, encouraged, brought to tears and much laughter throughout this amazing experience. I have learned there are more women with similar experiences and women with exact opposite experiences, and both have brought fresh perspectives and comfort to my journey.
Sara’s new book was a must-read for me and so convicting. Her ability to be real, share her struggles, her triumphs and some “Seriously?” moments made the book so memorable and so relevant!
Read on for the Q&A and the giveaway!!!
ME: Having read some of your other books, and knowing you have been the primary income at times in your marriage, do you think your submissive wife experiment would have looked differently had you started while you were the main breadwinner in your marriage? Do you think it would have been harder on you at that time? Harder on your husband?
SARA: I was in that situation when I was going through the Proverbs 31 experiment, and it was difficult, so perhaps. I had some attitude adjustments I needed to make. There were times when I was working full time – partly from stress, partly from just plain old pride – I was pretty difficult to be around. I would look at my sweet husband and try to suggest he fix what I thought needed fixing. I think however, if I had the changes in heart that I did by the end of the P31 experiment, and I was still working full time as I was, that my attitude would definitely have changed and it wouldn’t have been so hard going through the Submission experiment at that time. The biggest change I needed to make going through learning what biblical submission looks like was a heart adjustment. Being willing to first put God first, and then my husband.
ME: In trying to share your book, I have come across some unexpected resistance. You talk about how being submissive in your marriage means being submissive to God. Besides the word itself, why do Christian women especially, have such a hard time embracing this?
SARA: Because I think culture has convinced us that to practice biblical submission must mean becoming a doormat with no thoughts or opinions of our own. Some of it is resistance within ourselves. Some of it is also fear and concern of what others will think. We know God has created us as women with intelligence and skills and insights and talents – so why would we want to put ourselves in second place behind our husbands? It feels dirty. It feels wrong. It feels like we’re stepping back into the 1950s where the only skills women were viewed worth having was in the kitchen and raising children. At least that’s a perception some have.
My feeling is that we make this idea of biblical submission out to be a whole lot harder than it actually is. Yes, in today’s culture, especially, I think it’s difficult. But I don’t think it’s impossible. And what I learned through my experience, and what I share in the book, is there is something very freeing and positive when a husband and wife are walking in the callings God has called them to, loving each other the way God has asked them to love.
First and foremost, we are called to be God’s. Many of us so desire to pursue God’s plan and purpose for our lives. But we don’t always see our roles in our marriages or our families as moms as part of that plan and purpose. If God calls a woman to be CEO of a Fortune 500 company – awesome – but if He’s also called her to be a wife and mom also, He has a purpose for her in that too. And we shouldn’t ignore that.
ME: I grew up watching my grandma practicing being a submissive wife (even if I didn’t know it at the time!)…my husband did not see that growing up and is fairly resistant to the concept as he understands it…or even talking about it. How would you encourage wives whose husbands are not on board to start the conversation? Because I think submissiveness looks different in every marriage and to truly be the submissive wife God intends us to be, a wife needs to understand not only what being submissive to God is, but what being submissive to HER husband looks like. Do you agree?
SARA: Yes, absolutely! I think that’s part of the problem so many of us have with this idea of submission – we look at other couples or examples put in front of us instead of just examining and reading what the Bible says about it and praying for God’s wisdom on how to help and encourage and be there for our own specific husbands. Not every husband has a relationship with God, not every husband is at a point where he feels confident in leading his family, and wives need to be discerning on how she can best support and help her husband.
If a wife has a husband who is resistant to the idea – and my husband was at first, too, because he had in his mind this image of a wife who doesn’t speak, doesn’t make decisions for herself – I would suggest that you first start working on yourself. The thing about biblical submission is it really is a two-person experience – ideally. A wife submits to her husband, showing love and respect and a willingness to let him lead in decisions, and a husband loves his wife like Christ loves the church – willing to put his life on the line for her. But if you have a husband who isn’t quite there yet, you can start with yourself. Showing respect, being kind, offering opinions and helpful suggestions without trying to run the show. I’m amazed at how much easier it used to be for me to show kindness and care to complete strangers than to the man I’ve committed to spending my life with. Actions speak louder than words, and your actions can allow your husband the room he needs to figure out what it looks like to lead his family.
Thanks Sara for offering a wonderful avenue to start that submissiveness discussion – with ourselves and our husbands!
Sara is doing Q&A’s on several other blogs this month, in honor of the release of her new book, My So-Called Life As A Submissive Wife. To catch them all, be sure to follow Sara in all ways social 🙂
On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sarahornwrites
On Twitter: https://twitter.com/sarahorn
Comment on one or more of the options below for your chance to win your very own copy of Sara Horn’s newest book: “My So-Called Life As A Submissive Wife”!
1) Let me know you shared this post on FB!
2) Have you followed Sara on any social media? Which ones?
3) Do you follow me at https://www.facebook.com/LifeWithGreenEyes ?
4) Is there a specific someone you’d like to share this book with (after you get through reading it a few times)?
Have a blessed day!!!
Good Luck! Winner will be announced August 12th!