It’s Thanksgiving week…we’ve been consciously making an effort to really be thankful all month. Some of us posting our daily thankfulness on Facebook….blogging about it…sending cards of thanks…Taking the 21 days challenge (if you don’t know what that is, check here >>> https://www.facebook.com/21-Days-of-Thankfulness-Headquarters/1419401061610952>>> Like their page and join in next year, the fun starts every November 1st!)…there are so many things we are thankful for. And it’s a good thing to concentrate on what we have vs. what we don’t have…not just this month, but all year!
But…I’m tired y’all…Sometimes life just overwhelms me…and I think — I just can’t handle anything else right now God—and it seems like this feeling really overtakes me about this time…for at least the past couple of years.
It’s an emotional time of the year….besides the normal holiday stress of having money to buy all the gifts…go to all of the events…give where we feel led to give…It’s even more than that.
A couple of years ago, my hubby was in rehab…not with us for Thanksgiving. A week or so after he came home, my grandma passed away. My husband’s son from his first marriage, who the girls and I have never met, turns 22 Dec. 4th. My aunt was diagnosed with cancer this summer and will go in for her transplant in a couple of weeks.
To top all of this off, things are just not great at our house right now. I am stressed, overwhelmed, tired and just plain cranky and moody. I miss my grandma. The last time I talked to her, when the nurses said, no, you don’t need to come, she’s getting better…I told her Rob was in rehab. She said, “I’m so tired. But I needed to know you were going to be taken care of. It makes me so happy to know I lived long enough for this to happen.”
She was tired. She needed to know…before she could let go…
Last year I missed her so much I broke down on Thanksgiving day, right in front of the whole family. I just don’t think I have the energy for that again this year.
Rob is sober…we are working on us…but y’all, financial issues will put a strain on anyone’s marriage.
I had hoped once Rob’s son, Nick, turned 18 he would want to meet us. Every birthday that passes breaks my heart. If you ask my girls how many siblings they have, they include him—2 sisters and a brother we have never met. How can that not break a momma’s heart?
And my aunt. Y’all I love her more than I could ever say. She has been my rock, my confidant, my comfort, my supporter, my encourager…She’s who we “go home” to. And she’s 14 hours away…and I’m not there to be with her…to give back to her when I know she needs it the most.
I’m weak right now y’all…So weak. This verse carries me so many days…it’s on a post-it on my desk at work. Make me weak, Lord, so I will be more dependent on you. Make me weak so I can see Your strength in me. Carry me God, because my steps are weary…Work on me in my weakness, so that I will learn to daily depend on Your strength and not my own.
I’m praying this week for all of us who are missing someone this Thanksgiving week. Praying we don’t isolate. That we surround ourselves with friends and family. If you don’t have anyone to spend Thanksgiving with, find someone else who would be alone too — find a whole group of them — don’t isolate, don’t spend the day lonely, make it a new tradition!
Three days til Thanksgiving…”…For when I am weak, then I am strong…”