I’ve had this song in my head for a couple of months now. I can’t get enough of it. I’ll play it on repeat on YouTube, over and over.
It is all at once the most soothing, peaceful, challenging, beautiful, heart breaking, heart healing song I know. It moves me to tears, to joy.
It is where I long to be. Where I pray to be.
It’s my word for the year song. #trust2014
“Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders…Let me walk upon the waters…Wherever You would call me…Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander…”
I’m not where I thought my life would be. I never would have chosen this life I have. I never would have dreamed God would use me, with all of my hurts, my past, my issues…I would not have walked this path.
I never would have been able to get to where I am without Him. He has placed me in the lives of people I’ve never met through this blog. My prayer and promise to God, when He put on my heart to start blogging, was that I would try it for three years and if I reached one person in that time, I would keep going.
Because my feet could never wander to a place where He would use me. Where He called me was to something out of reach to me. Somewhere I had to trust Him.
I worried about what I wrote. Who would see it.Who would judge me. But mostly that no one would see it. I would check stats obsessively. Wondering if the time was worth it. Wondering if baring my soul, sharing my struggles was even worth it.
And then that one person happened. Three days in. (God has a sense of humor too you know!) Not even anyone I knew. She didn’t follow my blog. Didn’t leave a comment publicly, but messaged me privately.
I reached someone. God used me to give someone hope. He took me to a place I could not go.
“You call me out upon the waters…The great unknown where feet may fail…And there I find you in the mystery…In oceans deep…My faith will stand…”
Then people I did know. He sent little encourager angels who said “Me too”. “I’ve been there too.” “I’m there now. I needed to hear that. I needed to know someone has been where I am now and has come through it. Because right now I don’t see any hope.” “I struggle with the same things but I’m not strong enough to admit it. Thank you for showing me I’m not alone.”
“Your grace abounds in deepest waters…Your sovereign hand…Will be my guide…Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me…You’ve never failed and You won’t start now…”
In the short time I’ve been blogging, it’s felt exactly like that. Deep waters. I’ve shared things I never thought I would have the courage or strength to share. I’ve revealed pains and failures I never wanted anyone to see.
I can’t walk where God has called me to go. I can’t walk across the water. My feet will fail me.
“So I will call upon Your name…And keep my eyes above the waves…When oceans rise…My soul will rest in Your embrace…For I am Yours and You are mine…”
So I trust in Him to move me where He has called me. Knowing that I go in His strength, not my own.