A few days ago I was blessed with a glimpse in to the future…A short, precious few hours spent in what I can only describe as the future of my relationship with my oldest daughter.
It happened by chance. She never gets sick so when she does we are off to the doctor the same day. It started while we were waiting in the exam room…”Mom? You know I’m never coming to the doctor by myself right? Like, when I have to go I’m going to call you and you’ll have to come to my house. You can spend the night, I’ll feed you and everything. But, like, I’m never going to go to the doctor by myself.” ( I promise I didn’t jump up and down…at least not literally…)
So she’s fairly sick, but, let’s be honest, are we ever too sick for Brick Oven? (No….unless we’re dead…and then, you know, just serve it at the funeral…)
So we go to Brick Oven for lunch…and…(P.S. she’s 17)…we sit down, order and…she put her phone in her purse.
I was all ready for a lunch spent half paying attention to each other, me half working, her half (ok, mostly) texting…
Then she put her phone in her purse. I was mid-text to someone. I pushed my phone to the side, not making a big deal out of the fact that she put her phone away so I was going to as well…but y’all — she put her phone away.
Am I making too big a deal out of this? Um, she’s 17. She put her phone away to talk to her mom. This is a big deal.
So we talked. About everything. Her dreams of opening a string of hair salons across the country. What life might look like if her and the boyfriend end up together. Her graduation/birthday party. That she wants to start having kids when she’s 24. Our family. People we love. Things that have hurt us. People we choose not to have a relationship with. Those amazing people in our lives who fill an empty place….regardless of their “official title” – they have willingly, lovingly, selflessly filled a void that the ones with the “official title” can’t or don’t…
We talked about the past…the future…the present. We laughed. My girl is funny y’all. She is gifted in conversation. She is easy to talk to. She has amazing dreams for the future. She includes me in her future. She sees us spending time together. She looks forward to me being GiGi to her kids. She knows without a doubt that Rob and I will be amazing grandparents (even though I’ll be a super young 29 year old GiGi lol).
And what’s a mom/daughter day without shopping? So we stopped off to find me some new jeans. Have I told you she is my biggest complimentor? She tells me how “cute” I look in my new jeans. Tries to get me to buy more than we came in for…for me. Never asking to even look at anything for herself.
We go by to pick up her prescription (remember it’s a sick day right?) and of course it’s not ready. So we laugh about that. She wants to stop at every gas station in Cabot to find the special lemonade she likes. I tell her it’s Happy Hour at Sonic and we compromise and get drinks there instead. Earlier she had told me about a project she needed to do but couldn’t find a song. It hits me all of a sudden – a song from Pitch Perfect would be, well, perfect 🙂
We high-five…I have to say, we probably high-fived almost ten times that day. Because who has a cool mom? She does. But you know what? I have a cool daughter.
Then we head home and turn on Pitch Perfect. She drinks the nasty medicine. Tells me she had to just do it before she could think about it. Takes a drink from her Sonic vanilla coke with easy ice. Settles in the chair next to me. Tries to get Buddy (our golden who thinks he’s a lap dog) to leave my side to sit with her. I remind her she isn’t taking Buddy when she moves out. She says he may disappear when she moves out, and if we never see him again she didn’t take him. I remind her I’ll see him at her house and know. She says “Don’t talk.”
I realized early in our day that this is the future of our relationship. This is how we will spend countless days together after she has moved out (not soon…I need a few more years y’all)…eventually gets married…That before I know it there will be three of us at the table…a sweet little baby we will fuss over, spoil, adore…
I am looking forward to when she is grown. But I am loving the time now. And thankful and blessed that at 17, she told me she would always need me to take her to the doctor. That she will invite me to her home. That she thinks about how our relationship will grow as she does.
And I will always remember the feeling I got when she put her phone away. The feeling that I matter enough to her…that her friends, her boyfriend, Instagram…all of that could wait. Because she wanted to spend time with her momma.
Follow me on facebook! http://www.facebook.com/lifewithgreeneyes