Pajama Days Are Important

We were actually running on time. On a Monday. IKR The girls had eaten breakfast, got ready and we were out the door. On time.

Then we pulled up at school. Saw kids getting out of the cars in front of us. In their pajamas.

I looked over at Savannah and said…Is today pajama day?

She nodded and waited. Probably for me to get irritated about not being told earlier.

And honestly, if it had been a week earlier, I probably would have been.

But things had happened in the last week…things had been said…I had found out things…people who love us had started shaking me out of the distractedIcantdothisletspretendlifeisntfallingapart fog I had been in.

I had a huge wake up call Thursday from someone who loves and cares about me too much to let me beat myself up.

So I stayed home. And cooked. And Alex declared she was a vegan. Just for that meal. And she ate popcorn instead of what I cooked. And it was okay. I didn’t come unglued.

Friday was…devastating. Things happened that I couldn’t ignore. I had tried. And been successful. I had let too many things go. But now it was time to deal with the consequences of pretending things weren’t falling apart.

It took one of my very best friends saying things I didn’t want to think about, let alone hear from someone else…that confirmation that one of the things that kept me awake at night…something I worried over…it was time to deal with reality. Whether I was ready or not.

I wasn’t ready. But it was time.

Here I was…once again…telling my girls school…their daddy is in rehab.

They aren’t handling it well.

They need help.

We need help.

The counselor…so much more understanding than the time a few years ago I had sat ashamed…feeling judged. ( https://lifewithgreeneyes.wordpress.com/2013/05/29/im-that-mom/ )

Saying anyone who looked at the transcripts would see…something had obviously happened in the last few weeks.

The falling grades. The missing homework. Absences. Inattention.

And. Someone had. One teacher had reached out and said. Hey. What’s going on? Is everything ok? This isn’t like her.

I made it about two minutes before I had to stop. I didn’t want the tears falling. And she understood. Didn’t judge. Offered help. To tell her teachers.

Teachers who love my girl. ( https://lifewithgreeneyes.wordpress.com/2014/10/15/fav-five-friday-vol-tuesday/ )

Then the weekend. Showing up for things I didn’t want to. Being not just there but actually present.

Sunday morning. Sleeping in but making it to church. A short conversation with Rob’s parents that meant more to me than they could possibly know. Once again, offering without me even having to ask. We’ll make this our priority.

Once again, trying to hold back tears.

Then the message from our pastor. About storms.

Seriously y’all. He wrote it just for me.

The afternoon spent talking to my girl, telling her I knew what was going on at school. Apologizing to her. Telling her I know this is hard. And it sucks. And I’m sorry. And we’re going to get through this. Together.

And I’m so sorry for checking out these past few weeks. When you needed me most. I’m so sorry.

Which brings us back to Monday morning. And the drop off line at school.

Where I didn’t come unglued. I smiled. Said. It’s fine really. Turned around. Drove back home. Found clean pajamas.

Yes. They were on Rob’s side of the bed. ( https://lifewithgreeneyes.wordpress.com/2015/02/03/the-other-side-of-the-bed/ )

Yes. They were Christmas pajamas.

No. I didn’t care. She didn’t care.

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We went back to school and she hopped out. In her pajamas. Just like all the kids in the cars in front of us.

And I was a little late to work.

And it didn’t matter.

I’m learning that the things I used to come unglued over aren’t worth coming unglued.

Saying yes to my girls as often as I can for things that really matter is important.

Life is hard right now. But I have people who love us and are there. Even when I can’t ask. They offer.

Mostly…I am remembering that my God is bigger than this storm we’re in right now. Even when I feel like life is too hard…too much…nothing is too much for Him.

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About angelastricklin

Thanks for stopping by! If you're on FB, follow me: www.facebook.com/lifewithgreeneyes Instagram @angelastricklin Twitter @angelastricklin Pinterest @Angela Stricklin I'm a wife, mom of three girls and one fur baby. By day, I'm an HR manager to pay for all things girly girl and occasional fur baby treats. I add things to my Amazon wish list instead of my cart because my girls cost All. The. Money. Instead of sleeping, you can find me writing about faith, marriage, parenting and my favorite things on Facebook , Twitter , Instagram , and Pinterest.
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10 Responses to Pajama Days Are Important

  1. Angela says:

    I’ve never experienced addiction or someone I love with addiction but I have definitely had my struggles. Mine were with depression though and that learning not to become unglued was definitely something that resulted from my struggle with that. It’s been a slow learning process at times to learn to let things go. And I loved your part about the pastor writing that sermon just for you. Maybe it was God writing it just for you ;). Hope your week is going better. I’m following on facebook now. Looking forward to reading more.
    Angela @ Stepping into Motherhood

  2. Mary B says:

    Sometimes life’s experiences are unpleasant. And when they seem to pile up on you all at once, it can be overwhelming. It not only affects you, but everyone you are surrounded by. Kudos for keeping it together during a tough time.

    Thank you for tossing your hat into the ring at the Party Under The Big Top! We hope to see you again next week! #BigTopBlogParty

  3. Mina Joshi says:

    We all go through ups and downs in life. I am a strong believer that if you believe in God and have faith – things will get better. You will become stronger once you have recovered from your present problem. Just remain positive. Good for you for driving back to make sure your daughter didn’t miss out on the pajama day.

  4. Hugs, lots and lots of hugs. You are one brave woman. I and my family have been through something that we wanted to bury under the blanket. I pulled away from everyone, and thought I could deal with it on my own/ our own. Finally a friend reached out and without wanting to know what was going on she helped. That is a true friend.

    We also had amazing teachers that stood by our children. That too was amazing. I am so glad that there are people there for you and the girls. Without judgement.

    Everyone lives in a glass house, and no one should throw stones!

    I am working on the word Patience this year, I seem to become unglued at things like above, the kids have said I am doing better. Thank goodness.

    Again bravo, she looks amazing in her PJ’s and I am sure she had an amazing day thanks to an amazing MOM!!!!!

    Hope you have an amazing day!!!
    xoxoxo

  5. Lysa says:

    I am sending you a bunch of really big hugs and tons of love and good vibes to you! You are such a brave, strong, woman and mother! Please, always remind yourself of that… You are a survivor and will make it through this, I can tell because you remind me of me a few years back!

    While reading this post tears came streaming down my face for so many reasons! I can relate and empathize with you on so many levels it is just crazy! It is sooooo hard to pick up the pieces especially when you have kids! I went through something very similar and it affected my girls in every aspect of their little lives, especially school. Thankfully, I had the same support from the school and the teachers and we all survived it… Well for the most part that is, that parts that really matter!

    I also tend to come unglued when it comes to the slightest things. I always have to remind myself that I am a work in progress and it’s okay not to be perfect ALL the time. Someone close to me loved me enough to do what she thought was best to save me from myself and my self-destructive thinking and actions. Thanks to her, my sister, things have really changed for me, my kids, and every aspect of my life.

    A few years ago I would have completely lost it if I were to drop the girls off at school to find that it was pajama day and they didn’t tell me. Then, to make things worse, I would have told them it was too bad that they would be the only kids without pajamas on that day because that’s what they get for not telling me. Horrible right?!?!? Yes, I was that Mom! Was is the key word there. Now, and on a regular basis, when I go to drop my 13 year old off at school we wind up making at least one trip back to the house for one thing or another and I just laugh and jokingly say, “You are the most forgetful child I have ever known!” Then she laughs and replies, “I know, I don’t know what my problem is!” and we both laugh! Such a HUGE difference!

    I will never, as long as I live, forget the first morning when I didn’t come unglued at something they did or didn’t do! My youngest, the 13 year old, asked me, “Mom are you going to kill us? You are being way too quiet and calm right now, you’re scaring me!” My reaction at the time was to laugh as I reassured her that no one was going to die and that I wasn’t even angry! Well, I went home and cried like a baby for what seemed like FOREVER! I was horrified that she thought I was such a monster! Well, that sealed the deal and I haven’t, well maybe once or twice, come unglued over the simple everyday things ever since! Her reaction to me being calm instead of a raving lunatic was the BIGGEST eye opener I have ever received in my entire life! My kids are and always have been my entire life and I was horrified that I had let the struggles in my life jade me so much so that I was mean and nasty to my precious babies. (I wasn’t always like that with them.) I’m thankful everyday that I changed my ways and found my way back to the Mom and person I once was, happy, loving, and incredibly kind!

    Wow, sorry this comment is so long and that I opened up this much about my life and faults as a Mom but I really felt as if you needed to know you aren’t alone and that no one is perfect by any means! We all have faults and struggles in life, some, like me, more than others! I will keep you all in my prayers. Please know that even though we may not know one another too well if you need a friend or a shoulder to cry on I’m here… You can always send me a private message on any of my social media accounts or an email. Sometimes it helps to talk to someone removed from the situation just to have a place to vent and let it all go! Sending you lots and lots of love, hugs, prayers, and a wish that the pain ends for you all soon! You’ve got this girl, I have the utmost faith in you!

    Oh and thanks ever so much for joining us at Party Under the Big Top, I’m so glad you linked up and hope you’ll be back again Monday! 😉

    Much love,
    Lysa xx
    Welcome to My Circus
    #BigTopBlogParty

    • Aw. Thank you so much for sharing this! It’s so awesome to hear another mom working through coming unglued – and how much it changes the mom/daughter relationship when we do!
      I started blogging because I felt so alone in what I was going through and have found such an amazing community of women who have been where I am or are where I am…I can’t even describe how it feels when someone says “me too”… Except the overwhelming aloneness slowly becomes tolerable. And then eventually mostly fades away.
      Big hugs and love to you!!! So glad we met!!!

      • Lysa says:

        You are very welcome sweetie! I agree, the blogging community is such a wonderful place filled with soooo many loving, caring, and most importantly Mom’s and women just like me! It is so nice to know we aren’t alone indeed! It is a hard road to “normal” again but then again what the heck is normal anyway? I should say your new “normal.” That being said, I know for a fact that you’re going to make it because look how far you have come so far! Like I said earlier… You’ve got this girl! I’m really glad we me too! I meant what I said, I’ll always have an ear, or well an eye, to listen/read whatever it is you just need to vent or talk about! xoxoxo Lysa

  6. Ooh girl, this spoke to me on so many levels… I wouldn’t even know where to begin!!! All I can manage to say is God truly loves you, and He is with you (but I feel you already know that). And the proof is in the pajamas… stay encouraged!

  7. Brittany says:

    Thank you for sharing your story – I admire your strength!
    Thanks for joining the #HomeMattersParty – we hope to see you again next week 🙂

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