Sometimes you get home late on a Friday after being out of town for work all week. There’s dishes in the sink. Not really sure when the dryer lint trap was last cleaned. Pretty sure the vacuum was used beyond its actual capacity and the covers are half off your bed and the dog hair is a pretty good indication that most if not all of the 3 dogs decided your bed was a wrestling mat/naptime mat.
Then. You walk into your girls bathroom and see they’ve cleaned and painted it. And are still working on getting it accessorized. But it looks soooo gooood. 
Then you walk by the paint swatches painted on your entryway wall and think. I really should do this sometime soon. 
But you’re tired. So you start to unpack. And by unpack I mean find your Ibuprofen, Zyrtec and Ambien out of your purse. Realize you’re out of everything so you grab a Capri sun to take the meds with. Dig through your suitcase for your cute pajamas and walk into the kitchen where you see the paint supplies are still out and ready. And you’re tired but not fall dead asleep tired because you’re a certain age and your body doesn’t work like that right now 😐😐😐
So. You decide if you paint just a little more tonight you can have a better idea tomorrow whether you love the paint you chose or are just meh about it.
You have no paint trays so you get a little creative. The Capri sun box was empty and let’s be honest. If not for moms, that empty box would’ve stayed in there for a week. So you decide a half Capri sun box and some wax paper would be a perfect paint pan.
You know better than to paint without taping off, so you run the painters tape along two edges and decide to start there.
You do such an amazing job of staying off of the tape that you decide, despite many years of failures at painting without taping off, that this will be the time you will conquer it. Listen, we’re all out here living our best lives. It could happen.
So you paint that wall with a roller but the Capri sun paint tray was possibly not your best idea.
You then switch to a brush. Which. Can we just take a moment of silence for falling brushes everywhere and the mess they leave behind for someone else to clean up . 
There. I feel so much better now.
Then there’s the second time you drop the paintbrush and almost fall off the ladder because you would rather die from a fall than ruin your one painted wall by grabbing onto it while it’s wet with paint. Am I right?
By this time you realize that your outlet and light switch covers won’t work in their current color. Painting over them with your paintbrush is super easy. Just be careful not to paint so heavily that the outlets become useless. Ask me how I know.
One wall done except the edges and you’re ready to try the accent wall. In the Navy. No. That’s the color. Salty Dog was a heavy contender. But in the end. In the Navy won the war. I mean. The color choice. Same difference.
Have we mentioned the taping off has stopped? And one wall is gray and the other is navy. I see no reason to think the corners will turn out anything but crisp, defined lines.
Oh sure. You can already see that they won’t. Whatever. Listen Linda. You do you boo.
One tiny tip here. Tape off the corners. Just do it. I know. You can make a perfect line without the tape. But. Will you? Learn from me. Let my sacrificial wall be the end of blurry lines.
So you’re in the kitchen cleaning the Paintbrush and notice that there is all kinds of paint paraphernalia sitting on one of your good kitchen towels. Spilt paint all over it. Obviously we cannot have nice things in this house and here is exhibit 1 your honor.
As you’re painting the lower part of the wall you notice that paint has somehow dripped off of the wall – because you certainly didn’t let any drip off of the paintbrush while you were painting or the one 4 times you dropped it on the floor and you reach for the paint towel that you did manage to grab and try to clean up the paint from the floor.
Then you decide. I’m not going to have beige walls anymore. I bet I could use some paint to paint the tiles a nice gray tone. Not now. Because obviously it may be half done for me by the time I finish the walls. Don’t ever say I don’t think ahead.
At this point you’re pretty much done and ready to pass out because you took your Ambien 3 hours ago. And this has in no way inhibited your ability to live your best painters life.
Also. Somehow paint has gotten all over your fav pajama shirt. So you go to the bathroom to change. And realize you’ve painted a lot more than the wall.
All in all, painting on Ambien is probably not for everyone. But I’ll wait to see the results tomorrow.
P.S.A.One sample jar from Sherwin Williams will paint one side of an entryway so. You’re welcome.
Good night. God bless. Don’t wake me up unless the house is on fire.
